


Liquid Sanity

by my_kylo_ren_fics



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Ben/Kylo is kind of a butt, F/M, Millennium Falcon is a coffee shop, There's smut, fun and awkward, sexual in chapter 3!, uh
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-19
Updated: 2016-04-19
Packaged: 2018-06-03 06:57:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,543
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6601261
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/my_kylo_ren_fics/pseuds/my_kylo_ren_fics
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You’ve been working as a barista at the Millennium Falcon for a few years. Your boss, Han Solo, is the nicest boss you’ve ever had. You’ve applied for graduate school. Everything in your life seemed to be going just fine – until he showed up and ruined it all.</p><p>(There's smut.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

You wiped the counter down for what seemed like the hundredth time in the past five minutes.

“If you keep wiping that counter down, you’ll put a hole in it,” Han, the owner of the Millennium Falcon said to you.

At one point, over twenty years ago, the Millennium Falcon was one of the best coffee shops in the entire state. 

Now… not so much. You’d be lucky to serve a single customer in a whole shift.

The flowered wall paper flaked from the wall. A few of the floor tiles were broken and, Han had insisted, that they were fine and just glued them back together. The ceiling tiles had a hard time staying where they belonged - above your head.

It wasn’t the best place to work but Han had really grown on you. He had become the father that you’d never had. You couldn’t bring yourself to leave.

“I’m sorry. I’m just nervous. I’m supposed to hear back from Yale today about graduate school and I-”

Han cracked a smile, “Oh yeah?”

“Yeah. I’ll cry if I got in.”

“I would too. I wouldn’t have anyone else to work here.”

You rolled your eyes, “Seriously, you could hire anyone to work here.”

“At the Falcon?” he asked, rather incredulously. “There aren’t lines of people applying for a job here, that’s for damn sure. She’s a mess.”

“Okay, so maybe it looks terrible from the outside and the tiles are outdated, but that doesn’t mean-”

“That the coffee is terrible,” Han finished. “Y/N, you’ve been listening to me for far too long.”

“I know.”

Just then, the bell to the coffee shop dinged. Your eyes jumped from Han to the man who stood in the doorway.

Your eyes were drawn immediately to his eyes that were as brown as the coffee you brewed. He had a strange looking beard and mustache combination. It almost appeared as if he couldn’t grow hair on his face except for in the center of it. He had a great resemblance to Han - that was for sure. You could easily see it in his facial structure.

“Ben.”

“It’s Kylo now. Kylo Ren.”

Han rolled his eyes, “Before you became a hot shot producer, you were my son. You’ll always be Ben.”

“Right,” he said.

Something about the whole interaction seemed very… off. It was like there was some unspoken conversation happening while they stood, staring at each other. Should you leave and give them a moment of privacy? You highly doubted that they should be left with each other without supervision.

There was definitely something weird going on.

“How’s your mother?” 

“Fine,” the younger man said.

“Ben, I-”

“Save it for someone who gives a fuck. I bought the property. You have until tomorrow at 8 to remove everything you own from this space.”

Han scoffed, “And, what if I don’t want to?”

“It doesn’t matter. You will forfeit everything to me.”

You inhaled sharply, “You can’t do this.”

The attractive man glared at you, “This is none of your business.”

“Yes it is,” Han said, “Y/N has been taking care of me while you’ve been off trying to conquer the world with your crappy music. Why did you do this, Ben?”

Kylo’s face contorted in pure rage, “I’m not here to argue with you.”

“Well then, tell me why the hell you’re here! Why did you decide to finally show up after five years without contact,” Han wheezed in response. His hand shot to his chest as he bent over, trying to catch his breath. 

“No!” you shouted as you ran around the counter to get to him.

He had one heart attack already in the past six months. The doctor said if he had another… he wouldn’t survive.

“No, no, no,” you said.

He was already on the ground by the time you made it to him. You fell to your knees. Should you call 911? 

At this point, there wasn’t anything you or an emergency responder could do.

“Han, it’s going to be okay.” 

“I love you, kid,” he said. 

“I love you too,” you whispered to him.

He blinked for the last time. You watched as his eyes glazed over. He stopped breathing.

“You!” you screamed as you held Han’s lifeless body. “You killed him!”

Rocking back and forth, you cradled his body to yours. The bastard had killed Han. You looked up from Han to his son. Kylo had his arms over his chest. You saw there were a few tears running down his face. His face twitched.

“You killed my only family,” you wailed.

“Shut the fuck up!” he said. 

He turned on his heel and violently stomped out of the Millennium Falcon. He had run out on you. And, now, you were left there, cradling Han’s corpse, wondering how the hell this day could get any worse.


	2. Chapter 2

It had been a week since the Falcon had closed down. The worst part about the situation was that you had lost one of the only people you ever loved… or, so you thought. Life had a tendency to continue to beat you up, even after you were already down.

You were sitting in your car outside of the funeral home. Today was the day that Han would be laid to rest. You couldn’t help but feel somewhat depressed. You missed the way he would joke with you. He was like the father you never had. And… now… he was gone. 

You only had one glimmer of hope left…

That brought you to the letter you held. This was it. Your hands shook violently.  _Yale_. You ripped open the letter. You were either going to graduate school at the beginning of the next semester or you weren’t.

_Dear Y/N,  
_

_The Yale Admissions committee has committed its evaluation of this year’s candidates, and I am genuinely sorry that we are not able to offer you a place in our graduate program.  
_

That’s all you could read. You dropped the letter to the floor.

Your life couldn’t get any worse at this point.

You had nothing left in life. Everything had been ripped away from you. What would you do now? You wiped your tears away with the back of your hand. There was one thing that you had to do for sure - get inside the funeral home for the service. You stood up and got out of your car, closing the door quietly behind you. There was no use in trying to cover up your tears. You would cry the second you walked in there.

You sniffled as you shuffled towards the already open doors. 

All that was in the large room was an urn with a few pictures of Han from when he was younger. 

You examined the first picture. It was a photo from when he was incredibly young. He was standing next to a fighter plane. The smile that adorned his face was absolutely stunning. 

“Hi,” you heard from behind you. 

You turned on your heel. 

A short woman was standing there, holding a cute black dog. Its tongue hung helplessly out of it’s mouth as it stared at you.

“Hello.”

“You must be Y/N,” she said. “Han always talked about you. I’m Leia, his… wife. Although, we were estranged towards the end… I’m glad you came.”

You smiled, “It’s lovely to meet you, Leia. I wish it were under better circumstances.”

Han had never told you he had a wife; however, he always wore a simple gold ring on his finger. 

Just then, someone else entered the room. You turned and recognized the bratty man that caused this whole ordeal in the first place. 

Then again, Han had heart problems. Even if his son hadn’t walked through the doors of the coffee shop that day, Han would have died - minutes, hours, days, weeks, months or years later. 

Death was an inevitable force. The only thing that was certain in life was that every single person you’d ever see would die some day. Everyone would be consigned to oblivion. 

“Ben,” his mother said.

“Mom,” he choked. You watched as he threw his arms around her. You couldn’t help but stare at him. His face was etched with sadness. It was the same sadness he had on when he walked into the Falcon. It must have been something he always carried around.

His brown eyes opened and met yours. Suddenly, an explosion of emotions flooded his features.

“What is _she_ doing here?” he spat as he released the small woman from his grasp.

And that was when you just started to let the tears flow from your eyes. You didn’t need that kind of treatment. This was the worst fucking day of your life and he just had to make it even worse? You stared defiantly at him, watching his eyes soften ever so slightly.

“Benjamin Solo, I will not have that kind of behavior here,” she said venomously, “Apologize.”

He sighed and rolled his eyes.

“Sorry,” he said. You could tell from the tone of his voice that he wasn’t being sincere at all. He sounded like a child that had been caught with his hand in the cookie jar. He wasn’t actually apologizing. He was probably only sorry that he had been caught.

“I need to get going anyways.”

“No, nonsense,” Leia said. She put her arm around you and held you as you cried, “Han said you were like a daughter to him. Please, stay. It would mean… it would mean a lot to me… and to him.”

She gestured to the pictures of Han and began talking to you. 

“This was taken before we started dating. We were friends in high school and both ended up going to flight school right after that,” she said. She held the picture of her and Han, standing next to each other. They both had huge smiles on their faces.

“I loved him so much and he didn’t even notice.”

You could feel a hand brush by yours. You turned away from the picture to see Ben, standing next to you. Why did he do that?

She put the picture back in place.

“We had our problems though. We argued constantly… although, I think that was the best part of our relationship,” she said with a slight laugh. 

“I’m going to miss how stubborn he was,” you admitted.

She let out a hearty laugh and a few tears escaped her eyes.

“He wrote in his will that he didn’t want us standing around his urn,” she whispered. “We should go out for a few drinks.”

You giggled, “That old drunk.”

Leia shrugged, “That’s what happens when you get old. You become stubborn and you just drink to pass the time until you’re… you know what I mean.”

Ben reached forward and picked up the urn.

“It’s time for one last hurrah, Dad,” Ben said.

So, the three of you decided to meet at a bar only a few minutes away.

* * *

You threw back the shot of whiskey and let out a cough. Jesus, you’d forgotten how much alcohol burned going down your throat. Leia had left only a few minutes ago but insisted that you stayed. After all, it was almost eleven o’clock on a Wednesday night. 

“Y/N,” someone said.

You turned on your stool towards the sound of the voice. With six shots in your system, Ben was a little bit blurry; however, you could tell it was still him. You could recognize his long and angular nose easily.

“I’m opening a coffee shop where the Millennium Falcon used to be. I wanted to know,” he rolled his lower lip into his mouth. He stopped speaking.

“What?”

His lip rolled out from under his teeth. Your eyes immediately were drawn to the redness of his lip. He looked so kissable in that moment.

“Would you be interested in working for me?” he asked, as he leaned closer to you.

Did you really want to work for him? No. Did you have any other options available right now? No. You sighed. You needed to pay your bills somehow. 

You shrugged before you said, “Maybe.”

He cocked his brow, “Maybe?” 

His face was so close to yours that you could see the warm golden tones that formed a halo around his pupil. His eyes were beautiful.

“Is there anything I can do to change your mind?” he whispered as he lowered his head to your neck. For a few moments, all he did was hover there, breathing gently against your skin. Then, his warm hand lightly cradled the other side of your neck. He tilted your head to the side until your neck was fully exposed to him.

He lightly pressed his lips to the tender skin there. 

You let out a low moan as you tangled your hands in his thick hair. It was just as soft as it looked. You were helpless as his kisses set your skin on fire. It felt so good. You couldn’t remember the last time someone had kissed you with such tenderness.

“Please,” he whispered against your skin. 

“I’ll have to t-think about it,” you stuttered back.

His lips lightly pressed to your ear before he spoke quietly.

“How about we discuss it at my place?”

He wrapped his lips around your earlobe and lightly sucked on it. It felt so good. You felt… so much better than you had earlier. You couldn’t help but give in to him.

“Please,” you begged.

He released your earlobe from his mouth and his face was back in front of yours again. He smirked at you. He looked like a man who had just won the lottery.

“Let’s go.”


	3. Chapter 3

You pushed him up against the door of his own apartment. His eyes were blown wide with lust as he just watched you. He was letting you control the situation. 

You trailed your kisses from his soft lips to his neck. Of course, he was wearing a dress shirt with a collar that prevented you from kissing him further. _That would have to go._

You lightly stroked the length of his tie with your hand. It would be the same way you’d touch the length of his dick. 

“Enough teasing,” he said as he loosened the tie from around his neck. He tugged at the knot which slipped loose and he just carelessly chucked the tie to the floor.

You pressed a kiss to his lips as you hurriedly unbuttoned his shirt. You needed this now more than ever. Your mind spun into overdrive. 

_What would his chest look like?_

His tongue aggressively slid across your lips.

“Fuck,” you said against his lips. His tongue invaded your mouth and expertly moved against yours. _When was the last time you’d been kissed like that?_ You groaned. You could feel how badly he wanted you. His hands grabbed your hips and he pulled your body closer. He ground his hips against yours.

“Shit.”

Your hands latched on to the collar of his dress shirt. You needed to hold him. Your legs shook with anticipation of what would happen next. God, you could feel your body pulsating. You didn’t just want him - you needed him. 

You didn’t break the kiss as your fingers fumbled down his shirt, trying to unbutton it. His hands knocked yours away as he quickly undid the remaining buttons. 

He broke the kiss. You knew he would need to pull his dress shirt away from his body and yank his undershirt over his head. This needed to speed up a little bit though. 

You pulled your shirt off and easily stripped out of your pants. You dropped to your knees. You wanted to taste him.

Damn, you thought as you just admired the shape of his bulge. It protruded proudly from his body and formed a large tent in his pants. 

_The real question was - could you fit the whole thing in your mouth?_

One of your hands wrapped around it. _Thick too… shit._ You groaned as you lightly moved your hand up and down for a few strokes. His hands were unbuckling his belt.

“Fuck.”

You stopped moving it. _  
_

_What if you teased him? How would he respond?_

There was only one way to find out. You lightly exhaled warm air against his dick before you pressed your lips to it.

He growled lowly. 

“I’m going to come if you keep fucking doing that,” he said. 

He yanked his unbuckled belt viciously from the loops of his pants. You unbuttoned his pants and they fell to the ground.

You could feel his warm hands against your back as he unhooked your bra and pulled it from your body. You could have cared less about that at the moment.

Your eye was less than an inch from his hard dick. **Wow** ,you thought as you stared at it. The long shaft had a thick vein that seemed to almost pop out of his skin. It was the same pale color as his skin… except for the head. It was tinged with red and it was oozing a clear liquid. _  
_

_Precum._

You wrapped your hand around his shaft and gave it a light squeeze. You wanted to taste him, so you leaned forward; however, you still wanted to tease him. You lightly blew cold air across his dick.

“That’s it,” he declared as he pulled you up from the floor. He lifted you and threw you over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes. His warm hand rested against the small of your back. _What the hell was he doing?_

You couldn’t see where you were going. Your ass was next to his face. You could feel his stubble brushing against you. 

You could feel him use his other hand to pull your panties down. _Fuck,_ you thought as he plunged his fingers into you. He easily pushed in and out of you as he walked. 

_Damn. He had skills._

His fingers left you and you felt empty. He threw you onto something that felt similar to skin. 

_Cold!_  

You gasped loudly.

He had thrown you onto your back on his leather couch.

“Sorry,” he mumbled. He probably didn’t really care that the couch was cold. It wouldn’t be cold for long.

He stood over you, just glancing over your body. For some reason, his gaze made you feel exposed. You moved your arms to cover your breasts but he glanced away. He rifled through a small table next to the couch before pulling a condom out.

“I’m going to fuck you like the little tease you are,” he said as pushed your legs wide open. 

“Is that a threat or a promise?” you shot back.

He easily ripped the packaging open on the condom and chucked the wrapper back on the table. 

“Both.”

 _He was so fucking hot._ Your hands traveled to your clit. You couldn’t help but touch yourself as you glanced over his body. He wasn’t looking at you anymore. He was more interested in looking at his dick as he rolled the condom on.

His hands slapped yours away, “No.” he said. 

He was ready… and so weren’t you.

He knelt on the couch, between your legs. He pumped his shaft with his own hand before staring at you.

“How do you like being teased, you little fucking slut?” 

He used one of his hands to rub the tip of his cock against you.

“Do you want me to fuck you?” he asked.

“Yes! Yes!”

“Well, you’re going to have to beg for my cock,” he said as he pushed it into you. He only pushed the tip of it inside before pulling it out.

“You bastard,” you shot back at him.

He rested his dick against your slit.

“Beg for me,” he demanded.

“I want you to fill me up with your big co-” was all you said before he shoved his entire length into you, “Fuck!”

He nearly collapsed on top of your body. The only thing that stopped him from crushing you were his two hands that he braced on either side of your head.

“You’re so wet for me, you little fucking tease,” he said against your neck. He didn’t move.

“I bet you just love being fucked,” he whispered. “You love having big cocks like mine filling you up. Don’t you?”

You moaned loudly. Yes, you did.

But, you needed him to move. Unfortunately, you really couldn’t do much to get him moving: you were pinned underneath his heavy body.

“Please, Ben! Fuck me,” you whined, gyrating your hips against his. 

That was all the begging it took to get him to move.

For a few seconds, all you could focus on was the weird sound of his balls slapping up against you as he thrust in and out. That, however, was quickly forgotten as he moved faster. 

“You’re such a dirty girl,” he said as he pumped in and out of you.

You wrapped your arms around his back and held him closer to you. His muscles flexed against your sweat covered palms.

“Oh, fuck!”

“Scream for me,” he said before his lips pressed into the most sensitive part of your neck. 

“Ben!” you gasped.

Your hips bucked up into his. 

Suddenly, you felt him bite sharply into your neck. _Was he giving you a hickey?_ You couldn’t care less at that rate. It felt so god damn good. Your eyes opened wider as he rammed himself into you.

“Fuck, Y/N,” he said against your skin.

Then, you felt something swirling against your clit. You looked downwards between your two bodies to see his hand against your clit. He knew exactly how to get you going… 

And, you were getting close. The tension in your body was just building and building. _Were you ever going to have an orgasm?_ Your nails dug into Ben’s back. You clawed at him, desperate for release. His pace was slowing and his strokes were uneven. _Why was he slowing down?!_ His dick felt harder than it had been before.

His voice cracked as he shouted your name. His dick seemed to swell and push you open even further. He felt so much bigger inside of you. He must have come. He continued to push in and out of you at the same reduced pace. Of course, he was growing softer and softer inside of you with each thrust.

“Don’t stop.”

He said something in response, but you weren’t exactly sure what it was. You couldn’t really hear him. You could feel him changing it up. His thumb pressed harder against your clit, compensating for his softening dick.

You were so close. You rocked your hips against him, desperate to catch up. It was going to happen.

“Come for me, Y/N,” he whispered in your ear.

Those were the magic words.

You screamed and gripped on to him. _Fuck!_ The popcorn ceiling of his apartment was replaced with blackness. Your body squeezed against his dick. _Shit, yes_. It was the oddest orgasm you’d ever experienced - your eyes were wide open and you could feel your eyelids fluttering against each other. Blindingly bright stars dotted your vision for only a few moments before shifting places. 

God, your orgasm hurt; however, at the same time, it felt so fucking good. The stars disappeared from your sight.

That was until your vision returned and you could see that he was slowing his pace. He finally stopped rocking against you. 

His breathing slowed dramatically.

That was one of the best orgasms you could remember having. A contented sigh escaped your lips. It was just what you needed. How long had it been since you had felt this good after sex?

A loud snore escape from his lips, causing you to jump against his body. _Had he really fallen asleep that quickly?_

“What?” he mumbled.

“You might want to, uh,” you didn’t know how to say it. You could feel his dick twitch inside of you. 

The truth of the matter was that you didn’t want to be weird about it. You really didn’t want to go to sleep with his dick still inside of you on his couch. A bed was preferable…

He propped himself up on his elbow.

For a few seconds, his eyes searched your face. You noticed the red tinge that covered his pale cheeks. He was just staring at you, for some weird reason. You couldn’t help but feel embarrassed because you probably looked downright demonic. 

You always looked a bit frazzled after orgasms… _Did he think you were weird?_ Hopefully, not.

Unexpectedly, he leaned forward and brushed his lips against your forehead. You weren’t sure why he did that; however, after he backed away, you understood. 

He gently pulled himself out of you.

Now, you felt empty - much emptier than usual.

You watched as he turned away from you. His butt jiggled as he lethargically moved across his apartment. You could feel yourself getting wet again. _Would he be back for another round?_

After a few minutes of laying there, you weren’t sure where he went or if he would be coming back… You were completely drenched in sweat and butt naked on his god damn couch. 

_Maybe this was his way of telling you to leave?_

You stood up and stumbled around in the dark, gathering as much of your clothing as possible and slipping it on to your body. He wanted you to leave. He wouldn’t have left you alone for more than five minutes… You could hear water flowing through pipes. 

You needed to get your clothes on and get out of there. You couldn’t bear to see his face as he admitted that you were just a one night stand. He didn’t even want you to stay the night. It might have been the best sex you’d ever had; however, you couldn’t speak for him. He probably hated it… You pulled on your pants, shoes, and shirt in a record amount of time. 

You wiped tears away from your face as you opened the door and slipped into the hallway. You ran out of his apartment complex and into the darkness of the night.

* * *

“Y/N?” Ben called. He flipped on the lights. 

His heart beat quickened as he looked at the couch. You weren’t where he had left you.

_Where the hell…?_

He glanced around the living room and the kitchen. It was almost as if you had never even been in his apartment. He had just gone to clean himself off, it wasn’t like he was trying to abandon you. He groaned. 

The only evidence that you had even been there and not just a weird illusion was the fact that your panties were in a crumpled mess in the middle of the hallway.

He picked them up from the floor.

How could you just leave after that amazing round of sex? He was ready to go again; however, you clearly didn’t want anything to do with him.

He sighed and used his free hand to rub his face. He didn’t have your phone number. He wasn’t going to chase you down like a creep.

He had to let you go.


End file.
